Fear is a B.

I'm a mom.  I can't wait to meet my baby.  And every now and again, so many questions swirl in my mind:  

What if I tear giving birth? 

What if I can't breastfeed?

What if I don't love this baby enough?

What if I love this baby to the neglect of Mr. F?

What if this baby has colic?

What if I have really bad post-partum?

What if I utterly fail as a mother?

I've met this demon of fear before--before I married the love of my life.  And it's not the same as doubts.  Fear knows that I am on the track to Happiness, and he can't stand it.  In the heart of my heart, I knew marriage was where I was being called.  But Fear hated it.  Fear wanted me to be miserable and hopefully walk away.  

And he comes back every now and again.  But you can't walk away from a baby.  You just can't.  Ina May talks about how fear can prolong or even stall labor.  And at different points in our lives, I'm sure we could all dredge up something to be afraid of, something to fixate on and let our imaginations run rampant in the dark.  

Stop it.  Harness your thoughts.  

Fear is not from God.

Fear is a terrible counselor.

Fear is paralyzing.

Fear will ruin your life.

Fear will ruin your relationships

because the fears you have are not between you and _______.  

They are between you and God.

Trust.

Turn around and face your fear,

Find the lie in the middle of its inflated importance in your life,

Scream the truth at it,

Reject it in Jesus' name.

Accept love.

Love casts out fear.

Our Lord wants to do that for you.

He wants to drive out your fear,

So that you can accept His love and 

Love.

After all, that's what each of us is called to--Love.

This print will soon be hanging in our living room.

March It Out

My sister is one of my heroes.  

These are three of her five children.  

Today, I'm going to march down the capitol mall

because a third of my generation is missing.

because I'm sick of people treating babies like a disease we should get rid of.

because I wish those who are struggling and feeling like their baby is a burden

would reach out and find grace and strength to fight against sickness

in support of life.

because our President is pushing people in the medical field to act against their conscience in matters of life.

Baby Pictures

You'll have to squint your eyes a bit.  But, do you see?  That's our BABY!  

Here are the little feet

This one's my favorite.  Can you see that darling nose and tiny lips?

AND we know: girl or boy.  

Do you want to know?

My Grocery Angel

We'll call her Kathleen (because that's her name).  I met her while standing in the produce section trying to remember if radicchio was another name for red cabbage, or if red cabbage is something completely different.  Kathleen helped me remember that they are two different things.

And then, we stood there and talked for about 45 minutes.  Somehow, early in the conversation she brought up pregnancy, and I told her I was expecting.  Her eye glimmered, and she said, "I knew you were.  How far along are you? Three months?"  Yep.  Just about.

Kathleen gushed about how much she loved being a mom and the highlights of motherhood:

• Laboring and delivering your baby will be exhilarating!  Don't be afraid, it's gonna be the best moment of your life!  
• Stay with your babies as much as possible.  Volunteer to help in their classrooms, but don't be a room mom.  Then you have to deal with adults, not the children.
• Always volunteer to drive.  Practice, games, ballet, whatever it is.  Drive and listen.  
• Treat your children like you want to be treated.  You want to raise loving people, who cares about success?  That will come...And when they are grown, they will be your best friends.

And the funny thing is, she didn't say all this like she was being bossy or judgmental the way you might suspect from a person giving advise in a grocery store.  She was a breath of fresh air.  And made my day.  

I am so thankful for a lady who delighted in motherhood--every part of it.  

I've never read a Stephen King novel, but Ina May refers to one of his novels.  This character says, "Believe me:  if you are told that some experience is going to hurt, it will hurt.  Most pain is in the mind, and when a woman absorbs the idea that the act of giving birth is excruciatingly painful--when she gets this information from her mother, her sisters, her married friends, and her physician--that woman has been mentally prepared to feel great agony."

So often, we are quick to tell tragic tales about labor or how miserable pregnancy is.  (Replace "pregnancy" with whatever other rite of passage:  getting a driver's license, a specific professor, moving, a race)  We are ready to show our scars and tell the stories of how they got there:  in a way that terrifies the person about to give birth (drive for the first time without another adult, take an exam, move across the country, run a race).  

Kathleen's stories were told in such an inspiring way.  Not that her life was perfect; but it was definitely full of grace, and she was obviously gushing with the joy of her situation:  mother to three fabulous people.