Tuesday, May 15, 2012

The New Normal

We're makin' it.
Motherhood kind of kicked my butt at first.
Who knew this was so hard?

My mama did.  
So she came and stayed with us and quietly did laundry and prayed beside me while Frassati and I cried as we learned to nurse.  She made almost every single meal--except for the one we tried to go out to eat.  Yeah, that doesn't work with a 2 week old baby.  
My mama did all the laundry--and basically everything it takes to live--while I got used to being a mama.  

I'm still getting used to the new normal.  We all are.  
We are late to everything.  Sometimes really late.
We tried to go to a concert last weekend and got there for the last verse of the last song.  dang.
Frassati's sleeping a bit more.
I shower almost every day.
No birthday gifts or mother's day cards have been in the mail on time.
We are learning Frassati's cries.
I don't have to wear maternity clothes.  I'm not quite into pre pregnancy clothes, 
but at least I don't have to wear the panel jeans anymore.  
I can laugh at some things.  
For a while, my only response was to cry.

I'm reading Anne Lamott's book about the first year of her son's life.  And this made me laugh:
People kept trying to prepare me for how soft and mushy my stomach would be after I gave birth, but I secretly thought, Not this old buckerina.  I think most people undergoing chemo secretly believe they won't lose their hair. 
Oh, but my stomach, she is like a waterbed covered with flannel now.  When I lie on my side in bed, my stomach lies politely beside me, like a puppy.  
Part of me is glad you don't realize how hard being a mama is.  "No one ever tells you about the tedium.  ...And no one ever tells you how crazy you'll be, how mind-numbingly wasted you'll be all the time.  I had no idea.  None.  ...It turns out that you've already gone ahead and done it before you realize you couldn't possibly do it, not in a million years." 
And it makes me thankful for the grace quietly working to give me the strength to do the impossible and so thankful for a husband who is so patient and long-suffering with me.  

Every day our new life gets a little easier, a little more normal.


  1. yes, going anywhere with one child, or two, or three, and being on time is like a miracle. especially in those first months! it does get easier. you start to remember things like bringing the diaper bag (i can't tell you how many times we'd leave the house without it after our first was born), so much so, that you'll probably end up taking it with you, even if you don't have the baby with you! and the quote about the belly is hilarious. mine after 3 babies is just total mush. i'm working on it, but yeah, kelly jelly belly is my name. :)

  2. It is definitely a new normal! The good news is- going to two will be easier. AT least for me- 0 to 1 was such a huge change! Adding a second wasn't that big of deal. I'm glad you're coping with your new normal and rejoicing through the struggles. It's hard! You'll make it!

    Thank you so much for the letter of encouragement and sweet onesie that you went us! It was such a pleasure to get a sweet card in the mail and really made my day. Thank you so much!!!!


Let's get this party started! What'dya say?